Massage Maniac T-Shirts

'This is the foot massage. Wait until I do your face, it feels amazing.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

The Work-from-Home-Polka

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Couples Massage

"Shoulder work ahead"

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

Music Freak.

Love Hurts

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Rock & Roll

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."

Communication

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Lox Ness Monster

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

Foot Massage

cat singing into microphone

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'