Mascot Maniac T-Shirts

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'They not only beat us - in the third quarter their mascot ate our mascot!'

So you're a mocking bird...

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

A man washing a mascot costume

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Giant slug attacks a city

"That's our new church mascot."

Three Ladies

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

"This invasion is gonna be a piece of cake. Look, they're already surrendering."

Primate Speech Institute. He's learned to talk, but all he'll talk about is the price of bananas.

Butterfly Sales

Love Hurts

"Pardon my glove."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

Zoo. Marsupials. What's the difference between a possum and an opossum? The opossum is an Irish possum.

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

Lox Ness Monster

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

Mammoth hoover