Martial Arts Trainer Pillows

UFC on steroids...

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"Ninja bread men"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

Karataoke

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

'Remember me?'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You may now kick the bride.'

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

Mod Kwan Doh

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Old Karate Master

Decapitated coffee.

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!