Martial Arts Teacher Pillows

Pam discovers the perils of practising Nei Gong in the kitchen after accidentally linking her Dan Tien to the washing machine cycle.

"Bow to your sensei!"

I think you've got the hang of peng now...but you may want to start contracting before we run out of room...

'That reminds me--I wonder how ol' Bob is doing these days.'

When I asked you to expand your belt channel I was thinking more of energy than elastic...

'The first move you must learn, is how to open your wallet and pay for your lessons.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

"Ninja bread men"

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

'Remember me?'

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

'You may now kick the bride.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Mod Kwan Doh

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Old Karate Master

Decapitated coffee.

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."