Marshmallow Toasting Pro T-Shirts

'The Torch Holder'.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Marshmallows

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Harsh Mellows.

Champagne

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

Pint

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

Love wine

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

"You're in luck. A slot for you just opened up in our kitchen."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"To toast!"

Marshmallow Roast

Pint

'Our fifteenth anniversary -- the adventure continues!'

Wine Lovers

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

"What would you serve with toast?"

"First beach?"

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.