Marshal Pillows

"We're not having any luck finding fugitive outlaws, so we decided to search for the meaning of life instead."

'For the last time. First we catch out man, then we go on a wine tour.'

'Suddenly, I feel quite vulnerable.'

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

'When you say I have 24 hours to get out of town, does that include the grace period?'

Attention FUGITIVES...If you turn yourself in, we will DOUBLE your reward money.

Sheriff sits near workboxes which read: Dead, and Alive.

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Cliche Pete's In Town.

Dang prairie dogs!

"You'll have to excuse me. Horses bring on my hayfever."

'You two gun Billy one leg the bandit?'

Sheriff places his star on top of a Christmas tree.

'Not hard to trail the Poor Hygiene Kid.'

'Don't stick 'em up!'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

"Let's just say you left a paper trail."

'Boys, you'll have to leave your guns with me during happy hour.'

Wild Wild Salmon

'Have you never seen a boom town before, stranger?'

Posse, Goddammit!, I said round up a posse!

'I'm having a lot of second thoughts about doing this, Sheriff.'

'They say he came to clean up the town.'

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Continental marshal

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

The Lawman

'I've got my eye on you.'

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"Say! How come you don't use handcuffs like all the other sheriffs?"

"Well, well, well, if it ain't the 'long' arm of the law."

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."