Marsh Maverick T-Shirts

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

"Well, I guess this rock sample pretty much clears up any lingering doubts about life on Mars!"

Biker chopper shopper

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

"You again?"

"The Vesparados"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

Putin and Xi Jinping on the moon

Waco violence

Biking Granny.

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

"The ticket's for having a cooler bike than me."

Wooden ship with large Advertising sails for Seasickness, scurvey, mutiney

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'