Marriage Optimists Gifts

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"It all looks fine to me."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

Tom's last day.

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

Research -Development - Wishful Thinking

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

'What the hell is that guy's problem?'

Do-over

Gender Symbols

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"I married for contrast."

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'