Marriage Magpie T-Shirts

"And should you get divorced, promise you won't sue me."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"I married for contrast."

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

Gender Symbols

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."