Marriage Fixer-upper Gifts

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

She - Interpreter - He.

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

The Upholstery Consultant

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Well paid job

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

Chainsaw and Chair

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'