Marriage Experts T-Shirts

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"...until death do you a favor."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Incompatible.

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'