Marriage Advice Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'I thought we agreed we weren't going to go to bed angry anymore. . .'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"I married for contrast."

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

Gender Symbols

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"Just remember, the number one reason for divorce is marriage."