Marriage Advice Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'I thought we agreed we weren't going to go to bed angry anymore. . .'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"He just married me on the rebound."

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Gender Symbols

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

"I married for contrast."