Marriage Advice Enthusiast T-Shirts

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

'The only problem, really is that our mahouts don't get along...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

Gender Symbols

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

"I married for contrast."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'