Marriage Enrichment Pillows

"We spend hours in bed together-but that's only because that's where the telly is!"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

Cyber Fight

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

'Do you, Edward, promise to play second fiddle and also pay the piper?'

'It's all downhill from here.'

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

"You have irritable-spouse syndrome."

Marriage Guidance - Give and Take

'During the work gap on my resume, between 2008 and 2012, I was working on my marriage.'

'Marry me, Linda. Two can live more cheaply than one.'

Test dummies holding 'Kama Sutra For Dummies' manual.

"So you both think each other is an idiot. . . who said we wouldn't find some common ground?"

'Hi, Mom. Meet my new significant other. My Prenup'

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

Sex shop

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

" I think we have a deal. He goes walking down the street with you as long as you refrain from singing do wah diddy, diddy dum diddy do."

'You'll find that communication, in a marriage, works best if you start off with a smile and a kiss.'

'I know a lot of married couples don't talk at the breakfast table, but on their honeymoon.'

"Typical! Just typical!"

"It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together."