Marriage Dynamics Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I used to have a Paul Newman role in our marriage, but now I'm taking the Harry Dean Stanton part."

Henry put me on a pedestal

'Can he call you back? He's rehearsing his apology!'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

"You call that worrying?"

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

Gender Symbols

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"You don't like my cooking, do you?"

"I married for contrast."

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'She originally told you she wanted love and understanding? Well, her list has grown.'

"Trying to auction me won't work!"