Marriage Celebrant Pillows

"I pronounce you husband and wife of opposite sexes."

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

Layer cake

Emotional Bling

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

French horn.

"Just one more round guys...then I've got to get back to the church!"

'They call it the people dance.'

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

Congratulations!

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

Scot holding a heart.

'Go forth and multiply!'

Bride playing cello

'How about this for the masked ball?'

Free love

Two men toasting

'He tried to play hide and pounce, and I tried wrestling, but it was our mutual love of naps that made us the best of friends.'

Three happy men

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

Three women dancing

Friends and champagne

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

Gay marriages in France.

'We've learned to keep the mystery in our marriage -- every now and then, we put on disguises and have an affair with each other.'

"This is where the party budget ran out."

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

Two grooms cutting a civil union cake...

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'You remembered our anniversary!'

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

'This is the 1927 Georges de Latour you bought us for our anniversary, son. Mom spruced it up nicely with orange soda and melon balls.'