Marketing Wizards T-Shirts

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

'I say, Cardigan, this Lite Brigade idea is just another silly marketing ploy.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

'You may have three mergers.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'But what do you sell?'

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"Here's the artist's conception of your proposed smile."

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

'My fan focus groups indicate that I should show more of my legs.'