Marketing Strategist T-Shirts

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"So it's agreed - we go ahead with the information-matching."

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

Man selling dirt and mud.

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Actually, this is when I'm at my most creative, when I don't seem to be doing anything.'

"I believe in consistent branding."

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

'You need a marketing strategy!'

"...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?"

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Instead of wasting time naming all the side effects, can't we just say 'stuff might happen'?"

Promoting business growth.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

"Lenny's right. Calling it 'an opportunity to reach a new generation of listeners' has a better ring to it than 'total sellout'."

"The best thing we've ever done is to buy advertising on vehicle airbags."

'Think of it as incentive marketing. You increase our market share and you get to keep your job.'

'Yes, ladies and gentlemen, honesty is a very important part of our marketing strategy.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"P.J. is right. 'Rock solid financial product' does sound better than 'contrived get rich quick scheme.'"

"Business is real slow dad. We need to rethink our marketing strategy."

"The logo needs to represent procellousness. Your design says pusillanimity, at best."

"We need a new image..."

'We want to focus on female customers. That's why we hired him. He is a real expert - women start shouting 'how sweeeet!' as soon as they notice him.'

"We can't make the perfect product, but with a little luck and a lotta data, we can make the perfect customer."

Failed Marketing Concepts: Books on Tope

'The flip side of product placement - removing the competitors' placements.'

Tramp Advertising: Your Ad Here.

'I took a bottle cap to the groin during the Cola Wars.'