Marketing Strategy T-Shirts

"Thanks for telling us that you personally know hundreds of short-cuts, Bill. But the point of the new slogan is to convince people we won't use them, OK?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'How fast can you hype?'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."