Marketing Magicians Pillows

'...Higgins wondered how invisibility would look on the shelf.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Team Leader

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Elevator Pitch

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

Falling stocks appear to be rising when man stands on his head.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

'My market doesn't understand me.'

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

'Lucky for us, there's a sucker born every minute.'

You trip on it, you buy it.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'You may have three mergers.'