Managerial Magicians Pillows

'Apparently, our meetings do meet the legal definition of torture.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Team Leader

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

Smoke and mirrors.

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

Inkwell Genie.

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Office of quality assurance"

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

'You may have three mergers.'

Graduation day at Telekinesis School.

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'But what do you sell?'

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

'Remember,Riley-as soon as you clear your desk you may leave early.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"