Marketing Critic Mugs

The difference in costs between an 'eye patch' and an 'iPatch'.

Drinking water: Mountain Spring / Sparkle Creek / Garden Hose.

Something without the sexual connotation, please.

It's The Miracle Book!

'They're offering a special deal. If we buy something they'll stop sending catalogs for 3 days.'

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

Santa Claus sponsors

"I can understand chips, dip and pizza pockets...but this marketing thing is going too far!"

"And now it's time for some comedy...a look at our alleged product sales figures..."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'Have you notices that almost every butchery has a smiling cow or chicken in the logo? Isn't it ironic that those poor creatures are condemned to live a miserable life and besides, they are drawn with such a big smile?'

'I'd like some Barlmoro Red, Filtered, Extra-Special, Ultra-Light, Super-Long, Super-Slim, King-100 Mild, Full-Flavor Blend Cigarettes.' 'Box, or soft-pack?' 'I don't care.'

'Disguise your abject poverty with our fast growing conifers'

Health food disguised as junk foodjunk food disguised as health food.

'Let's one-up our critics. Let's add anti-oxidents to our cigarettes.'

Light Distilled Water

'Buy 1 get 1 free. Buy 2, you're stupid.'

Truth in hotdog advertising: Meat bi-products in a tube: 'I feel naked without my bun!'

"We were thinking, J.W., just off the top of our heads, of course—why not make the stuff addictive?"

What's the sale price on scones? Zero percent off. It's a sale in name only. I see. How many can I get at the sale price? The sale mentality mocks me.

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

Trial by Media

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'There's nothing on.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'