Market Maverick Pillows

"How do you stay so calm about the stock market?"

"Today on Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

'Looks like it's time to screw things up with a major acquisition.'

'Ted prided himself on exploiting gaps in the market.'

'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"I guess that's one strategy for dealing with recent market volatility."

Middle computer

Oil price - 'Yeah, c'mon! Do us a favour and let it fly! The higher, the better!'

STRIP *Bloomerbery Money * Professional fund manager

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

"Today, 'Greed' was up, on news that 'fear' was down."

How to find gold.

Will Trade Derivatives for Real Money.

'The stock market remained unchanged, on the news that the more things change, the more they stay the same.'

'My broker uses it to trade hot stocks.'

Investments: thrill-seekers welcome.

Last Emerging Market for 1000 Miles.

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'We took a serious hit in commodities when Jack here decided to put our money into magic beans.'

"Mr. Harlow, let me give you a piece of advice: Everything is a bubble."

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

'Now a look at today's trading figures'.

'You're exactly the type of investor we're looking for.'

"Which way up do you want it?"

'Yeah, I invest strictly for the long haul - unless, of course, the market turns down.'

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

'I'm not buying or selling. I'm renting.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

An awkward moment at the shareholders meeting.

'Do you remember those good old days when we had nothing to fear but fear itself?'

'Okay, I'll see your 3 and raise you another one!'

'Stocks rose on news of a proposal to have greed' dropped from the seven cardinal sins.'