Market-free Meditator Gifts

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

Be Healthy

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Stressed over time management

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

Why am I running?

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

James decided to stay in that night.

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

Free-Floating Anxiety

"You've been served."

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

It's A Breeze

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

Man constantly stressing

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'