Market-free Meditator Gifts

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

Be Healthy

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Yoga classes door.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Stressed over time management

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

Why am I running?

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

James decided to stay in that night.

Free-Floating Anxiety

"You've been served."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

It's A Breeze

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"

No cell phones, tv or internet for a week. It's creepy. What's that annoying sound? Silence? It's awful. I can hear myself think!

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

Man constantly stressing