Market Buffs T-Shirts

"Why cull us when we could be retrained?"

The day the stock market went UP.

CEO with SEO

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Wall Street Couch

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

Standard & Poor

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

Larry's Literary Market

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

'Money, I'm home!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

Take me to your leader. . .

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'