Marital Warriors Prints

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

'How long have you two been married?'

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

"I figured, better the devil you know."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Just Married

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

Bridezilla

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."