Marital Peacemaker T-Shirts

Fishing 'Just what the Hell IS your problem lady??'

"I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling with you."

'Please come in before you catch your death!'

'Right! That's bloody it! I'm calling for the wife-whisperer.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

Noise Pollution

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'King Solomon had seven hundred wives, Ed, and you just have the one. Surely you can work out your differences.'

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

"Why can't you ever relax at parties?"

'Do you want to reschedule? Normally he has a magnetic personality, but today he seems to have reversed polarity.'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

"All parents fight."

Gaza escalation

'Just think, darling - tomorrow the cooking will be all mine and the dishes yours!'

"What part of 'keep it bipartisan' didn’t you understand?"

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'See?! The Israelis Are The Savage Ones.'

Middleast Peace