Marital Negotiation Pro T-Shirts

She - Interpreter - He.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"It's not what you think."

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

"I'll abandon my medium-and shorter-range missiles if you'll abandon yours."

'We're past the 'romantic' phase and into the 'living hell' phase.'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'