Marital Mediators T-Shirts

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Dialogue

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

She - Interpreter - He.

Changing Minds

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

Collective Psyche

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"At least we agree to disagree."

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."