Marital Dynamics Explorer Mugs

"Closer, but let's go over again how this works."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"OK, now what?"

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

Mrs. Almighty.

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"Since when did they start putting perfume in aerosol cans?"

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"

"How come I never see that smile?"

'You may have to go through the pain barrier today.'

'The trial marriage was going okay, until a surprise witness showed up.'

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

"I was TOO listening. I just wasn't caring."

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"Your what?"

"As long as we're renewing our vows, I'd like to trade him in for a newer model."

'Second door on the left.'

'We've got aspirin,acetaminophen and ibuprofen. You can't have a headache!'

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."