Marital Dynamic Analyst Mugs

Wife encouraging her angry husband to talk plainly to someone.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Common Core Family Therapy

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

"Honey, I'm home."

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"I had a hell a time choosing which wine went with your unrealistic expectation of me."

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

"Since when did they start putting perfume in aerosol cans?"

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

"I'm getting to know the staff better. You're my son, aren't you?"

You're wearing your lab coat. What's up? Something big. Amending my unified theory of picking up chicks. Check it out. Explain, doctor. To start, you'll need a notepad and a gym membership.

Bloody Little Hitler

"Use your indoor gun."

"I'm writig a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks.'"

"My wife finds it natural to nag, so if you hear that I died of natural causes, you'll know why."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

'We have a good marriage, but not a marriage made in heaven.'

"My wife is all in the eye of the beholder."

"Gifts like this ought to keep me humble."

'Harold doesn't have an ego problem. It doesn't bother him that he's inferior to me in every way.'

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."

The Observation Deck of Apartment 2-N

'Neo-extended family'

"You did this to me."

"I just need reassurance, Debbie. When your Folks die you're coming into a bundle, right?"