March Anniversary Gifts

Jack-in-the-box reads 'It's almost March again!'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

Dating is so expensive...

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Pearly King and Queen

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Regular service or affected?"

Things I love about Powell River...

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

Sermon Applause.

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

"I propose we build a panic room."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

...As we know, Jesus was a carpenter... but I don't think he actually sang on any of their records..."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

Employee lays in his 'OUT' box

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'