Marauding T-Shirts

"Some of the guys are worried about your commitment to the whole marauding barbarian thing."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

"I think the milk's off!"

I'm turning to the 'Duck' side!

Mars Rover's wheels stolen.

I do all of my banking online now.

"Not a word, Doc! I'm having hot flashes!"

"Adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, clauses...I'll never learn to speak English!"

Manuscripts.

Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell

'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'

'While you were attempting to seize the day, our competition seized a big chunk of our business!'

"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."

'Insure your desert island for as little as.....'

The Commandos go shopping

"I know you people are a bunch of incurable optimists, but I think this financial report is the cure for that."

'What are you trying to do...blow our cover?!! Take off that mask!'

'You make a HELLUVA bowl of chili, Donna!!'

'I'm sick of this island, Bob! I'm sick of you! If we don't get rescued soon, I'm going to go INSANE!'

'Bugs ain't nothin', kid - just wait till you swallow a BUZZARD!'

'Our guest has asked that we obscure his identity.'

"Is this the ophthalmology convention?"

'Wait a minute - isn't it a bad sign when the 'fasten seatbelts' sign is flashing?'

"Take a message in a bottle, Miss Jones."

"I don’t get it - we had all those meetings."

Garage Sale

'If I'm not home by midnight, my wife turns on the electric fence.'

Graveyard Shifts