Manuscript Mogul T-Shirts

"Constructive criticism? It says I can't write my way out of a paper bag, and you call it constructive criticism."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Do me next."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Newspaper suicide.

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

Editor.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

Greed.

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

Counting my Bonus...

"Can you rewrite this in 3-D?"

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

'You've been killing files again.'

The Personal ATM

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."