Manicures T-Shirts

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

Nail Clippers Circle Like Sharks.

'Well.. Your nails are very rusty...'

"I can always tell when someone invests in commodities futures."

'Mom sure goes to the doctor a lot. She's always going to get something called her mani cured.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Cuticles Ugly-cles.

'Now, will you consider cutting your toenails?'

"Hello Moira, long time no see."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"I got a manicure."

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

Nail bar

'Oh, of all the luck!'

'Karla worries about being asked to take her shoes off at the airport.'

The Manicure.

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

'So what are you doing tonight, babe?'

'Not again?!! A perfectly good game spoilt by dirty fingernails.'

Badly applied nail varnish.

Level up your game with a MANicure.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

The adoration of the gels.

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Emergency numbers on a telephone.