Manger Enthusiasts Pillows

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Subordinate Employee

'But you said to clean my room.'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Leadership Training

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

The little engine that delegated

"You lack spontaniety."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Biological Cuckoo clock

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

'Say, please.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"D'you have any porn porn?"

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'