Managerial Satire Lover Pillows

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"We have an acronym!"

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"It lost a little something in translation."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'