Management Style Critic Gifts

"Wait a minute! I don’t ignore the concerns of my employees! I listen to them, I discuss with them... and then I ignore them."

"And this is Dave. His motto is 'Push where it moves.'"

"My evaluation is based on peeking through the blinds."

"My door is always open. All you have to do is figure out the security code."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

Office temperature.

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Waste Management.

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"Nothing personal, I just wanted to see if I still had it."

'I'm sorry, but there's just no room in the budget for upward mobility... We're all making sacrifices...After all, I haven't been promoted in over twenty years.'

The Buck Stops Here.

"Relax. I just wanted to tell you that you're doing a good job."

'Finally, here's your chance to do something extraordinarily good for our company - quit and start working for the competitor!'

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

Employer of the month...and every month.

Puppet workers.

"I have to create a few loose ends for other people to clear up."

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

'It's definitely a 'hands-on' style of leadership.'

"Krishnan, why is it when you enter my room there's a general absence of hope?"

Yes-Man Training Seminar.

"In this office I'm the dog and you are the sheep! When I bark, you move!"

"It says 'how about putting a slot in the suggestion box'. Well, I don't know how that got in there."