Management Professional Gifts

"Shaded blue box on our org chart, meet dotted red arrow."

'Yes, long term strategy needs fresh crayons.'

'That's an innovative idea...but we would never consider it. It hasn't been done before.'

'We like the teamwork idea, but Mr. Superstar won't let us play with his ball.'

'Why do we bother with these board meetings? Nothing ever gets done.'

Big Ed's taken a direct hit of devastating criticism by the boss, he's sinking,listing, a pitiful helpless hulk...

"And what exactly is it about my coaching style you find so 'intimidating'?"

"I don't know, Baldo. I like being an assistant manager and all...but I'm not sure this job is for me."

"The amount of sleep needed by the average manager. . . is ten minutes more."

"I'm firing you as instructional purpose for our executives trainees"

'IN' tray and 'IN FIGHTING' tray

Man with pirate eye patch and bandana giving a lecture

Pushing the envelope.

'Sorry folks, but we're downsizing to a flea circus.'

'Don't feel bad about taking hilidays, we all need time away from the job. Just make sure you're back before lunch.'

"Baldo, you're 20 minutes late! I'm adding a note to your file."

'He's getting praise from another manager. You might want to ante up.'

"I guess a diverse workplace won't solve all our problems."

Bees

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

Trial by Media

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'