Management Junkie T-Shirts

"Agenda item 1: My obsessive need to control."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

The little engine that could delegate.

'Leadership training.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

Subordinate Employee

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

Leadership Training

The little engine that delegated

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

Brain storm

Ian Hislop

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

The other digital divide.

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

"I like to keep things simple."

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"