Productivity Junkie T-Shirts

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

"This is no time to be thinking about ourselves, Matthews, so I'll see you at the meeting on Monday?"

'...And I came in to ask him to work overtime tonight.'

The other digital divide.

'It's hard to meet out time management guidelines now that all our clocks are on Bombay time.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Motivation to work

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

The World's First Electronic Paperweight

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

Here's a new Blackberry with a special silent alarm that vibrates and delivers a small electrical shock. We call it the Gooseberry.

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'