Management Dynamics Analyst Gifts

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"I'm not ready to put you on my favorites contact list, but I will add you to a group text."

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

'I never get any credit for all the years we upsized.'

"Nothing personal, I just wanted to see if I still had it."

Corporate Scapegoat of the Month (Poster hanging on company hallway)

Above Reproach.

He was the kind of boss who evoked extreme emotions.

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

"Who has the most power... the president or his wife?"

Abstraction and recognition

"Make up one for the office that says 'Hard Head Area'."

"He says his door is always open. Don't think that makes him approachable - it's just so that he can keep an eye on everyone!"

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

'Did you have to train to be a complete b*****d or does it come quite naturally?'

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

Chair Policy

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"How do you expect me to maintain the income gap if I give you a raise?"

'It's nothing personal, Johnson, we're letting all the deadwood go.'

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."

"Any new proposals?"

"Aw, c'mon, dad. You know how I hat to see that look of separation anxiety on your face."