Management Decoder Mugs

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

Paw readings

DIY horror.

'Physical or Social Science?'

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"I have some character-building news for you."

'It's my job to be nosy!'

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

Siggy

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."