Policy Decoder Mugs

Home Owners Insurance Claims. No, flood insurance doesn't cover you being underwater and owing more on your mortgage that your house is worth.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

Information vs. confusion

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

EU money addiction

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"The government is confident it has its numbers right. . . we're just not sure what order to put them in."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

War Starting Gun

Ideology and bureaucracy

End of crisis

'Our techies assure us no one stole the data. There were no hackers involved. We just lost it, all by ourselves.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"This is my voice mail."

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Change Rooms.

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

Text/Subtext Message

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

"If there is a processing problem, just come to me, and please, no whimpering in the cubicles."

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'

Nice idea. I see you've made the small print smaller.

'This is our conference room modeled after the United Nations so we can understand what our tech support people are saying.'