Mall Trooper Pillows

'May day! May day! We have a disgruntled husband at the information desk!'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

High security Santa's grotto

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

Mall of ages

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'You must have something in my size?'

She left him to go find herself. It only took 20 minutes, which was sort of embarrassing, so she decided to hang out at the mall for a while.

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

"I don't know...it's just not you."

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'