Mall Shopping T-Shirts

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Pushing comes to shoving will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Toadstools

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Cut Price

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Bad for you but to die for

'She's so put together!'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?