Mall Security T-Shirts

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

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The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

Moulin Rouge Security

"Beware of Don"

Scarecrows guarding a field

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Mou...Man trap!

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."