Mall Food Navigator T-Shirts

"One of us has to draw the line somewhere, and I draw the line at mall sushi."

Bad for you but to die for

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

Made in China.

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

"You have arrived at your destination."

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"He's a fussy eater."

Shrink

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

Mixed marriage: food fight

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'Have you been eating right?'

"What do you have that's rich in antioxidants?"

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

Aisle 3; 300 - 500 calories per serving.

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

Easy to follow diet plan.

Food Formerly Sold As Milk/Food Formerly Made with Sugar/Food Formerly Known as Meat/Food Former Fried.

'I assumed this is where the market headed south, but GPS says 'southeast'.'

"I mean, just look at us! We've been genetically mortified!"

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

Supermarket Traffic

"Honey, I can’t find it … they have too many Greek yogurts. No, I’m not crying!"

"No bread for Grampa. He's on a glutten-free diet."

Time sure flies by.

Stock Performance

'Lose weight now...ask me how!'