Malbec Fan Pillows

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

Honore de Balzac

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"Hey - a crop circle! Let's land here...."

The Beer Whisperer

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

Global warming finally hits home. . .

'Whatever he's drinking.'

"Instant? In my day they used to make it from scratch."

Hair club for men.

'The problem is he's 98.6...It's his age.'

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

"Can Greg come out and play ball with the Feds?"

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

'This is a ten year old whisky.' 'I suppose you were too stingey to buy a new one.'

Lady escorted home by police

Seltzer paste.

Notice. I no longer respond to an questions regarding kilts! Thank you.

'No cocktails for me, thanks.'

A drunk man being told to get up out of the gutter by a policeman

Pub Painting

Trump - The curly years

Hamster bartender

"He'll never share the road with a bicycle."