Malapropism Admirer T-Shirts

Lookup in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! Malaprop Man! You're playing poker these days! Yep. I'm a natural born grumbler. Last time I played I won a bit pop with a full horse. Then I bit it all and lost on the next hand. I needed one card for a royal flash. I never had a chance because all four jerks were missing. There was only forty-eight cards! I always knew you weren't playing with a full deck, Malaprop Man.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"Hop in Joey, it's bath time."

Grim's Fairytales

No Right Turn (monster)

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

The Man of Taste.

'Your mum says it's okay for you to sleep over in my pouch.'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

'Hi, we'd like to talk to you about how to prepare for life after death.'

"You're definitely in the top 1,000,000,000 people on this planet."

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

'Let's go upstairs and make love. I can't do both.'

Skeleton Portrait Painting

Vampire shunning crucifix-in-a-can.

"And this is where we bottle our rage.

"This pizza party tastes a lot like layoffs."

Meet the Artist

Toxic Relationship

"This is a Soul Card. We deduct a small monthly fee, and you get your looks back as long as there is a positive balance."

Kangaroo to other: 'I dropped three pounds once I got rid of all the lint buildup.'

The Grim Reaper feeding pigeons arsenic.

'We have your recliner. Don't call the cops. We'll be in touch!'

'Thanks for babysitting Jim: Joey should feel right at home...'

'Unfortunately, it's fighting an uphill battle against our first name, which is 'Apathy.''

Rebels without causes: Lorem ipsum, T.B.D., Insert slogan here

'No, we're not stopping for a potty break every 15 minutes!'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man! I hear you're a political operative these days. Yep. I'm working for my candidate out on the champagne trail. We do fundracing, skunk speeches, clownhall meetings ... What about interviews? Sound blights are one of my specialties! Actually, I derange just about everything! I think you fit perfectly in the world of politics, Malaprop Man!

"Every commodity has an exchange value, which is measured according to the misery of each person...."

"Heh heh heh!"